Age before Beauty

Mirrors don't lie. I had gone to Walmart to make a few purchases. I bought a mirror. I took it out to see myself in the car. I was going to put on some moisturizer to make me look younger so the product said it would. I was terrified that I looked like an old person. I got depressed the rest of the day. I did not realize how much I had aged. When did all this happen. I was so wrecked. I can remember being 20 something. Here I was judging people I knew were my age and not wanting to think that I was looking old myself. It sometimes seems that I am not aging. I don't feel my age at all. My neck the turkey waddle. I was like how could this happen. I wore a lot of neck ties, maybe that did it. I used to sun bathe a lot without much protection. I went to hippy hollow or Lake Travis in Austin, What a fun place that was. It is the only lake in Texas you can sunbathe nude, Not that I did. And you could even get high no problem. Those were the days. Anyway back to me.

I don't even like to imagine dying. I feel like are we really going to die. It just does not make sense. I know we have to . I have attended funerals. I know people that are dead. I not done with this post,. I don't even get in the mood. I don't have sex anymore. What a drag it is getting old.
How am I supposed to age gracefully, when I don't even think that I am not old. How can I find a lover, when youth is the first thing we really look at. I also live in South Texas how find you my lover when there is slim pic kens here. Where gay is not okay but a joke. I listed myself on My space, and not yet on Face book. I don't know what I am doing wrong but i am trying, maybe its too late.

Now I spend most of the time at the cosmetic counter looking for something that will reverse the aging process but I think maybe this cream or that one. Will it really work or not. But being the way money is now I have to take into consideration can I afford it. I have no hair or just say it your bald. I not really that overweight at all. Look okay for my age or is that my ego just talking. I am trying to convince myself that I am not that old,, Okay I am 57 yrs old I will 58 next month in March.

Lady my dog

Last night was a scary night . My poor dog Lady my youngest of the bunch. I noticed she defecated on the bed and wet herself. I picked her up she was weak. I said to her don't go, in other words don't die. I held her in arms. I could not afford to go the vet. This fucking economy, I have no money. And there is no emergency services. I prayed for days, my dog is young. She seems okay, when we woke up this morning. I was obsessing about her gone. I was so afraid. It was dark at night, if she died how would I bury her. She was scared also. Poor baby. I think the tortilla soup I gave her may have caused her to get sick. I guess. I want to make it my fault. I called my sister the nurse she said that maybe it was some rat poison. I hope other people feel that way about there animals. I love her so much. She is young and sweet. I have 2 other dogs but they are much older than she. I rescued her she was at hanging out at my neighbors and they were not taking care of her well, so I paid the guy who is a alcoholic $50. She has made so happy. She is so playful. Kinda like the little girl I never had.
Other subject about last night: I had to go to bathroom every fucking hour or even sooner. I am so tired right now. I have been having this trouble with bladder for a few months. I know what the Dr. will do give me antibiotics. Its like I could treat myself if I had a prescription pad. I've had this problem before. I may need a rotor rooter done you know where. I am tired of getting old. Everything goes. I know I am whining but hey that's me.